Scott is on the street looking at his phone. “Dogphone,” the deep timbre of narrator Jeremy rolls. The viewer knows. Scott looks directly at the camera and says, “WOW!” A dog is shown talking on the phone.
Kinetic Sand for Adults
“Everyone’s favorite sand, with some nasty,” narrator Jeremy says. Sand visuals flood the screen. The narrator, Jeremy climaxes.
Middle-aged Michelle is on a regular couch, holding a bowl of popcorn. In the next scene, Michelle’s friends Dominique and Troy are shown having fun at a dance party. “Oh no,” the viewer thinks. Back to Michelle: She looks down and middle-aged tears salt her popcorn. Netflix is on. “Who says you ever have to leave your couch to party?” Jeremy’s smooth voice commands, defiant as ever. “Never again, with Party Couch!” Jeremy says. Bright colors wash over the screen. Dominique and Troy are partying and getting trashed with Michelle on the Party Couch. Jeremy drips, with typical wit, “Party Couch is THE couch you and your friends will want to party on.” They slam shot after shot. Middle-aged Michelle is shown screaming in delight. Dominique shrieks in the very last frame, her fingers in guns.
Jeremy’s hot voice is saying things like, “Healthy Valley Granola won’t do,” and “Quaker Oats is no real granola,” while different granola brands are thrown into a trashcan. The viewer feels bad about granola. Then, we switch. Jeremy says something about Organic Granola in that smoky way that makes him attractive. “Oooh, you know Organic Granola is good,” he says. The viewer knows life can be so much better. Organic Granola brand granola is shown covering a naked human body. You feel Jeremy’s sexuality without seeing him. The Organic Granola logo, which is just a photo of the Earth, appears. Jeremy’s musk is felt in words. “Organic Granola,” he says.
Dan asks his friend, “Why haven’t you been putting an ass on the things you want to put an ass on?” His friend, Mel, is at a loss for words. Internally, The viewer asks the same question. Jeremy pushes out over Dan, and you feel him narrating again– raw, like a horse on top of another horse. “Ass Anything,” narrator Jeremy says, voice grinding into the viewer’s back. “Finally, Ass Anything you want.”