I have been known to never use question marks in writing. Because I think they’re tacky. Especially when asking a question. Like it seems unnecessary. But I’ve been using them recently to indicate that I’m uptalking. Because it’s a stylish choice?

Wow I’m really bad at interviews.

They were like, like why do you want to work for an environmental nonprofit, and I was like, well ever since I was a little kid probably since I was 4 Lisa Simpson was my hero, like she made me want to be a vegetarian and conserve water.

Have you hugged a false posi prophet today.

I told my therapist, I think I am Nancy Botwin and she was like, I’ve watched weeds and you are not Nancy Botwin. Feeling a little crushed tbh.

I say the word ‘douche’ when I’m talking about shitty people and I don’t think it’s a misogynist term. I don’t think it’s misogynist because a douche is an unnecessary thing the patriarchy wants me to put in my vagina, which is how I feel about most of the cis men I meet.

I just want to watch Body Double and Belly and State Property 2 and Ghost World and eat tuna melts and hang out with my cat and eat croissants and watch The Departed and get my back rubbed and my neck rubbed and my butt rubbed and basically be a cat who writes poetry and listens to KMEL.

Why is everyone in San Francisco a fucking ‘foodie’ or ‘world changer.’ Like, get a hobby.

I wanna be yr Shelley Duvall (not really)
Red rum on the hotel wall (not really)
Hatchet down my bathroom door (not really)
Always leave you wanting more