DAVID FOSTER WALLACE’S ROCK IDOL WAS AXL ROSE

In the music video for “November Rain,”
Axl marries and then kills off his
in-real-life girlfriend Stephanie Seymour.
I think you’d have to not much believe
in the power of your magic,
or whatever you want to call it,
to do something so stupid like that.

But maybe Axl was aware and just didn’t care,
just wanted to see what he was fucking with.
Maybe he wanted Stephanie to be dead,
incapable of letting anyone but him
love her ever again.
Maybe he wanted her beautiful body
to rot away,
maybe he knew that we all look
the same
when we’ve been dead for long enough.

Anyway, she didn’t die
so maybe Axl just isn’t that good
at magic.
Instead of marriage or death,
they just assaulted and sued
each other a couple of times
which I guess is a
lesser kind of marriage,
a lesser kind of death.

EMOTIONAL TRUTH

Axl Rose is wearing
tight leggings patterned in roses
his penis popping large as a
tube sock
body shaking on the
sexy psychologist’s recliner
in a way that seems too ridiculous
to ever happen in real life
except VH1’s Behind the Music said
he was undergoing intensive therapy
at the time of that music video
so maybe that’s the way to dress
if you want to heal.
Maybe I’m doing it
wrong.