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The television said an island was burning. I stood near a small piece of my father’s property and watched the sunset. Some of my friends were spitting in the family swimming pool. My parents were having dinner with Brenda. She was in charge of their investment portfolio and lived on the island. When the island on television stopped burning a lot of people invited themselves over for casual amounts of underage drinking. Someone stole my father’s fake deer legs. The day after the party my parents called and said their flight was delayed because of the island fire. I told my father that I drank all his protein shakes. He asked if I had touched his stereo. I told him the stereo got dry-humped. Something cried. I turned on the television and saw my parents standing on the island that had burned. Behind my parents I saw Brenda screaming into her cell phone.

A sleeveless t-shirt can be a Wife Beater.
A sleeveless and suit-less young lady is probably in need of long,
white gloves.
A women’s suit is called the Power Suit.
Without a suit, you only get bruises.

If your pants are too tight, a Camel Toe might turn into the worst tailgater.
Only on this occasion, it’s not about the lovely lady humps, it’s about the toe so we might as well bedazzle that nail.
If you decide to place a tattoo on a certain part of your back, they say you have the Tramp Stamp. If you look it up in a thesaurus, a Tramp is also called a Bag Lady. The Bag Lady collects many tiny men and puts them in her bag. Warning: To avoid danger of suffocation, keep this bag away from tiny men. This bag is not a toy.
If you ditch the power and wear denim on denim, you know it’s time to be young, be dope, be proud like a Canadian Tuxedo.

You can turn into a Fashion Victim so quickly for so many reasons.

But how can women be women
when fashion makes us schoolgirls?

The problem is that
when they say you can
wear whatever you want
it’s true but they lie
because technically of course you can
but being a certain type of CEO
will be difficult when you choose
crop tops and circle skirts.

The truth is
I desperately want us to be there.

The truth is
we aren’t there yet.

The truth is
we can’t have that much if they want us
to look bohemian and dreamy.

The truth is
it feels like
they truly want us to be
forever twenty one

and I find that problematic.

One time at a party this boy I knew somewhat vaguely from high school–like I remembered his hair, or like I’d seen it before, but I didn’t recognize him or know his name–approached me and started asking about physics because I guess he assumed that I knew a lot about that subject since apparently that was what class we had shared and in which I naturally earned an A, while this fellow had garnered himself a C-, so he said, but I said that I knew little about physics besides the basics that we learned in said class–velocity, gravity, acceleration, centripetal force, etc.–and this boy whose name escapes me still even now laughed and said, Oh yeah I don’t remember any of that shit either, then he said, So I was thinking, maybe we could step out of this party for a bit? and I was all like Huh? And I said so just like that, I said Huh? and this dude, this dude, he said, Come on, I heard you were DTF, so let’s go, baby, and I unfortunately knew what DTF meant, or perhaps it was unfortunate for this boy with whom I was definitely not DTF, cause I said so, I said, Huh.

DAVID FOSTER WALLACE’S ROCK IDOL WAS AXL ROSE

In the music video for “November Rain,”
Axl marries and then kills off his
in-real-life girlfriend Stephanie Seymour.
I think you’d have to not much believe
in the power of your magic,
or whatever you want to call it,
to do something so stupid like that.

But maybe Axl was aware and just didn’t care,
just wanted to see what he was fucking with.
Maybe he wanted Stephanie to be dead,
incapable of letting anyone but him
love her ever again.
Maybe he wanted her beautiful body
to rot away,
maybe he knew that we all look
the same
when we’ve been dead for long enough.

Anyway, she didn’t die
so maybe Axl just isn’t that good
at magic.
Instead of marriage or death,
they just assaulted and sued
each other a couple of times
which I guess is a
lesser kind of marriage,
a lesser kind of death.

EMOTIONAL TRUTH

Axl Rose is wearing
tight leggings patterned in roses
his penis popping large as a
tube sock
body shaking on the
sexy psychologist’s recliner
in a way that seems too ridiculous
to ever happen in real life
except VH1’s Behind the Music said
he was undergoing intensive therapy
at the time of that music video
so maybe that’s the way to dress
if you want to heal.
Maybe I’m doing it
wrong.

It’s a modern day Shangri-La, he said. Look at the mailboxes! Have you seen the snacks? There are really good snacks. Tablespoon-sized glass jars of Nutella that come with tiny silver spoons for spreading. Homemade gouda Cheez-Its. Hummus with bell peppers and carrots. Chocolate bunnies. Bananas dipped in a hard glaze of peanut butter and then put on a stick. All in precisely the right quantities and with the right caloric intake to ensure you stay beautiful forever. There are also really good moisturizers. Everybody’s skin looks really great. Have you seen a single dry flake? Anywhere? I didn’t think so.

When you can’t let any air in, you let in water.

I think about what it means for a bath to be made only of tears. My tears and yours, and all the rest. People bereaved and ecstatic all across the world. A tiny boy in Saigon whose croissant shattered.

A bath isn’t something you are in. A bath goes into you. Tears don’t come out of you. They go in.

The spray of the shower resembles cartoon tears, but there are no tears in the shower. A shower, like a penis, is a narrative. The bath and the vag are associative.

You can wake up in a strange bed, but there’s no such thing as a strange bath. It’s all one bath, all your life. You can’t take a new one. You return.

There’s only so much you can do.

Does anyone really have a home anymore? You go to a location that is sure to be as expected, the conditions right and without any cause for alarm. You go that location having left it earlier and now you return. Your return is nothing special. If the location is shared, those sharing it with you are not surprised or concerned when you return. What is home when chaos begins to seep through the cracks?

Midnight is full of closed spaces people return to and frequently reside. From one location to the next, their stay is inevitably temporary.

It might be forever midnight but people still move.

They cannot get past the momentum, the voice telling:

Do something.
Do something.
Do something.

Nomadic are the ways of the numb.

At midnight, there will be a localized war within oneself where the chaos is in fighting to get to sleep. And home, it is nowhere but the moment.

The voice calling might be yours… but you don’t listen.

The character has watched it happen over and over again. There is no listening to the voice inside; the voice is calling you home, but you are to busy doing something.

What are you doing?

* IN SUMMARY *

1. You’re doing something.
2. There is a tendency to purge.
3. You desire to do something else.
4. You can’t ever sleep.
5. What time is it?